Friend Theology

- Who are you friends?

A quick check on Facebook shows I’ve just touched my 100th friend today. A big milestone, some may say.

But why aren’t I that *popular*? The average for my demographics is closer to 250 friends, peaking at 1000 for some. Well, the simple explanation for this is what is called the Friendship Pyramid. Its kinda like a MLM scheme, so please bear with me.

A. Top Level

This is the one you really trust and can talk to. Say, your girlfriend, or boyfriend. At most, you can have only 5 people in this category. If you find that you have more than that, then you’ll probably need to look deeper and sift them like a good cup of black tall coffee

B. Best Friends

Paris Hilton has a TV series to look for the BBF – Best British Friend. The whole concept is hilarious and atrocious. And because of that, it is popular. Sometimes shitty ideas get so much publicity (albeit negative) but it really reached her objectives to gain fame and popularity.

Anyway, there are 20 contestants in an American Idol style elimination. Actually, more towards The Apprentice since she “fires” one of her friends every episode. The tasks she assigns are hilarious – one of which includes finding a “date” for Paris in UK. Erm.. okay, you’re hot, go get yourself a guy to sleep with. Why bother putting other souls through the pain?

The point is, for this category, it is *safe* to have 20 people in your group. Sounds excessive, but you need people of different skills and different personalities to really complete your life. Below is a non exclusive non exhausive list of examples of what I mean by “best friends”.

1. Melvyn Wee – Pool kaki

2. Yang Wei – Bowling kaki

3. Lukas – Driver and Food Kaki

4. Patrick – Business Partner

5. Mark Liew – Dude with Wads of cash wanting to invest in crazy shit

6. Ariel – The Photographer, Traveller and Creative gal

7. Nick Thien – Distant friend (geographically) with innovative and ambitious ideas

8. Rachel Ong – you got it all. All.

9. Cain – badminton kaki, the guide to social-life.

10. Kathryn – She’ll get things done. Anything *;)

C. Good Friends

This category is abit tricky and harder to filter out. These particular people are either not in your life (currently) because of distance. Or just because we have nothing in common to talk about at the moment. HOWEVER, in the future, if our paths meet, we REALLY can connect and do business with.

Among them are like my Brunei friends, my BM (hometown) friends, INTI & KDU Friends and random online friends.

I consider our IT Lecturer Mr. RC Ho to be in this category. The rest of the lecturers….er… you’re one level below, but its damn close =) [unless you give me HD, D then can consider lah]

D. Normal Friends

We say our usual Hi and Bye. I make a shitload of normal friends. I know the cleaner of my gym (Celebrity Fitness). We shake hands and greet each other every time we meet. Also I know the Old Town Kopitiam staff here in SS15 staff. The computer shop in Subang Square, Andex. My programme office people, the student council and all the rest of the college friends. Church people not in my cell group, but some are promoted to Category C lah. The coffee shop by College (Alex Chicken Rice) as well as the drink servers. The Soya Bean seller, KFC counter girl, the guys at Club 9 (although I’m quite close with the Dee Jay and the Rack Guy … believe it or not, we played a game of pool during his OFF time. Yeah, that’s how “friendly” we are!) The indian barber, and although I hate to admit it, I’m friends with most of the TOTO counter clerks and lottery sellers hee hee

E. Passer bys

I just nod and acknowledge these people. I didn’t put Pork Noodles staff in the Category D because they’re very lan-si. All you lan-si people go into this category lah.

Tip: If you’re successful, beautiful (hot), or just smart…. please be humble. You’ll do the whole world a lot of good.

F. Strangers

I am friendly towards strangers. I’m not “buaya” but it seems hot girls tend to respond better to my smiles. Hmmm…

G. Enemies

As far as possible, I try NOT to make any enemies. Even if bey-song with the fella, have to still smile and acknowledge the guy. I will not AVOID them or CONFRONT them but I rather reconcile if possible. If they still don’t want to forgive, then I will just give it a little more time. That’s my policy and philosophy in life.

I hope you guys learnt something from this post. Please comment lah, if you think you got something to say! Its 9pm now, so sien. But I purposely took time off to spend with myself lah. All the past few nights keep going out with friends. Sometime you just need to be a lone. Or be with your lubang