Penang, Malaysia

The Greatest Internet Article Ever Written

philip's thoughts

This article was written with inspiration provided by Penang’s famous comedian, Garu Rumon.

Char Koay Teow is one of the most famous foods found in Penang. There are many versions of it, mainly the halal Malay version and the Chinese version with pork sausage and lard.

A round trip along the coastline of Penang takes 3 hours on a leisurely car ride.

In China, there is a high speed railway network which goes so fast that a “hypothetical journey” between Penang and Singapore (700km apart) would take just about 2 hours.

Visionaries like Elon Musk dream of one day colonizing Mars and sending humans on a “one way journey” to the red planet. I think it would be fun to be the first few explorers!

One of the movement control rules in place in Malaysia due to the COVID-19 epidemic is that we cannot travel more than 10km away from our home. This is quite irritating as I live in a village about 15 km from Bukit Mertajam. Thankfully, there are no roadblocks present at the time of writing, but if they want to, they can fine us RM1,000.

Out of the 3 biggest telco networks, DiGi has been good to my family. I subscribed to the Infinite 150 plan for RM 150 per month. It gives us about speeds of 20-30mbps with a 1TB quota (more than enough for our needs). My nearest town is Lunas, Kedah and I guess there are fewer users in my area.

Lunas Food Court is a new eating establishment which  just opened at the end of 2020. With a huge carpark and over 30 stalls to choose from, I enjoy the yam rice and cantonese noodles the most. The ever-famous duck rice from the Lunas market has also shifted to this new premises.

Did you know that the Second Penang bridge is about 20km over water and the first bridge built in 1985 is only 8 km over water? Most Penangites prefer the older one perhaps due to habit and distance. I prefer a 60km drive in 1 hour rather than a 40km drive over 1.5 hours during a bad traffic jam like on Fridays after-work.

What goes well with white Massimo bread? I like peanut butter and orange jam from Tesco. With a nice, hot beverage (maybe black coffee or coffee with creamer). Just recently I tried the brand called Super. The creamer one is nice, but for black coffee, I prefer Nescafé.

Family Mart has been around in Kuala Lumpur for years now. Just recently, they set up branches here in Penang. I like the “Buy one, 50% Off the second food purchase” promotion. I usually choose the spicy fried chicken and the black pepper sausage, all for under RM 5. As for their Sofuto (soft serve ice cream), I still think RM 4 is a bit too much to pay. I’ll stick to Ikea’s RM 1 cone or even the Choco Top from McDonald’s at RM 2.

I am thankful that I have food to eat, a shelter over my head, and clothes to wear. I have friends who care and a car to bring me everywhere I want. There is peace in the country, although some might claim we are being let down by the government. I am thankful to have a life to live. It’s a beautiful world out there. I sincerely hope my readers stay at home and avoid spreading the evil COVID-19 virus.

To reach me, tweet and Insta me @philipkhor or find me on Facebook and LinkedIn. My telephone number for Whatsapp / Telegram / Signal: +60175914776.